Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Dieting........blah
Dieting sucks! I am on day 2 of the south beach diet and I am freaking hungry but I am being good, except yesterday's slip with the 2 and only 2 BBQ chips and it didn't really help, I just wanted to eat the whole damn bag but I was good and I didn't. I feel like a bear coming out of hibernation, I am so hungry but am assured this feeling will pass.....thank you, thank you cause I hate that feeling! I sat in the car for 20 mins with McDonald's and I didn't even eat a bite.....I was starving though cause when I picked Levi out of his car seat he smelled so much like french fries I seriously considered pulling a Hannibal Lector and taking up cannibalism....how gross. But on a more serious note.......I am gonna stick with this diet cause I need it, it really sucks feeling like i am in the wrong body.....this body doesn't fit my personality..... I don't know if I can explain it but that's how I feel, I need to feel better about myself so I will get there, cause now that I started I have to go all the way, one step closer to how I want to feel in my own skin! Down 2 lbs since yesterday so hey can't complain about that, its pretty awesome to step on that scale and see it go down even if it was only 2 lbs. I will keep everyone updated on my progress....wish me luck and self-control
Friday, October 1, 2010
The first week........
So I was reading some blogs and decide to start one.....I think this will be a good way to get my feelings out so this deployment will be a little easier.
So Tevis has been gone almost a week and I have had my ups and downs, you definitely don't know how you are going to feel knowing that your spouse is gonna be gone for months at a time until you are actually dealing with it, and even then its questionable because you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. That first day was not as difficult as I thought it was gonna be, although I made sure I wasn't in the house too much, went and had coffee with some good friends and then ran some other errands, so by the time I got home the day was more the half way done and I survived. As easy as that first day was I still need to release some negative emotions and what better way for a girl to do that....to cry of course! It happened at the weirdest time though, who would have thought that cracking up watching a farting video on YouTube would have done it, well it did, i was laughing and all of a sudden I was crying like my 16 month old who was really pissed and let me tell you what an ugly sight that is! I felt better however so whatever works right? The rest of my week has been fairly uneventful, except of course the normal crying and fighting and whining that is a constant reminder of my being a mother and the fact that I live in a nut house. Yesterday was Friday and I went to the commissary, and for those of you who have kids know that grocery shopping with kids is exhausting and can be a very unpleasant experience, especially with a 16 month old who was screaming bloody moodoo(as my sister used to say), and needed a nap, as it was, by the time I got to the register with my screaming baby, and my 3 year old who wanted to buy every single item of junk food she saw (I am going on a diet for crying out loud, don't tempt me) I was ready to say STICK A FORK IN ME I'M DONE and leave the groceries and the little monsters who I birthed there and run away to Mexico or some place where NOBODY could find me. Of course that little fantasy lasted all of 10 seconds, i payed for the groceries went to pick up the other 2 monsters from school and then I came home and put the groceries away and waited for Loriel to come over for our first official Pizza Friday.....it went well, yummy pizza, even yummier wine after the day I had, and some adult convo which by the way was great even through the kids yelling and playing like it was their last day on earth. I look forward to next Pizza Friday except the next 2 weeks is gonna be Lose the Fat Friday cause I am gonna be on Phase 1 of South Beach, i will be ready to hurt anyone who gets between me and cake but hey losing some weight will be worth it. The first week of Tevis being gone is almost over and everyone is intact so that's good right? I will keep everyone posted as time goes by cause writing this actually helped with the frustration I am feeling....now its off to do the homework that is staring at me....thanks for listening
Torrie
So Tevis has been gone almost a week and I have had my ups and downs, you definitely don't know how you are going to feel knowing that your spouse is gonna be gone for months at a time until you are actually dealing with it, and even then its questionable because you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. That first day was not as difficult as I thought it was gonna be, although I made sure I wasn't in the house too much, went and had coffee with some good friends and then ran some other errands, so by the time I got home the day was more the half way done and I survived. As easy as that first day was I still need to release some negative emotions and what better way for a girl to do that....to cry of course! It happened at the weirdest time though, who would have thought that cracking up watching a farting video on YouTube would have done it, well it did, i was laughing and all of a sudden I was crying like my 16 month old who was really pissed and let me tell you what an ugly sight that is! I felt better however so whatever works right? The rest of my week has been fairly uneventful, except of course the normal crying and fighting and whining that is a constant reminder of my being a mother and the fact that I live in a nut house. Yesterday was Friday and I went to the commissary, and for those of you who have kids know that grocery shopping with kids is exhausting and can be a very unpleasant experience, especially with a 16 month old who was screaming bloody moodoo(as my sister used to say), and needed a nap, as it was, by the time I got to the register with my screaming baby, and my 3 year old who wanted to buy every single item of junk food she saw (I am going on a diet for crying out loud, don't tempt me) I was ready to say STICK A FORK IN ME I'M DONE and leave the groceries and the little monsters who I birthed there and run away to Mexico or some place where NOBODY could find me. Of course that little fantasy lasted all of 10 seconds, i payed for the groceries went to pick up the other 2 monsters from school and then I came home and put the groceries away and waited for Loriel to come over for our first official Pizza Friday.....it went well, yummy pizza, even yummier wine after the day I had, and some adult convo which by the way was great even through the kids yelling and playing like it was their last day on earth. I look forward to next Pizza Friday except the next 2 weeks is gonna be Lose the Fat Friday cause I am gonna be on Phase 1 of South Beach, i will be ready to hurt anyone who gets between me and cake but hey losing some weight will be worth it. The first week of Tevis being gone is almost over and everyone is intact so that's good right? I will keep everyone posted as time goes by cause writing this actually helped with the frustration I am feeling....now its off to do the homework that is staring at me....thanks for listening
Torrie
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